It's coming along...

THE bathroom renovation has actually taken flight !!

After 2 long years of waiting, it's actually happening. LOTS & LOTS of work though !! I have a great guy doing the work. He is easy to work with and well, he is a hard worker.

Today, was a very stressful day, yet through it all, I could still find a multitude of blessings being showered upon me. Simple things like trying to find an exhaust fan, became a heavy weight. The size I needed I couldn't understand paying $150 for it. It's a simple fan...it sucks air !! Went to Lowes and found that they have one ONLY available by order for only $42!! No shipping costs and it comes directly to my house. I wouldn't have found it if I hadn't searched online. Also, found an awesome deal on the perfect toilet at half price!! Ohhh, and found the beautiful faucets I want for waaaaaay cheaper...but couldn't afford right now. Probably pick those up Sunday.

Shower pan disaster turned out great!! I was late at getting in to buy what would have been one of the last 2 in stock. Arrived late and they were GONE. Ordering would not arrive until next Thursday. Alternative would cost an additional $110. Called my worker and he was NOT happy. YIKES!! Talked with the sales rep, she saw my notes and noticed the name of one of the guys that works there. She asked if that was the name of the person who took our original (order). Quickly told her, no, that was a name of my neighbor and long time friend. She said...oh, he works here. She was then willing to really help me out. Told me she would honor the original price on the alternative piece...which was a better quality !! And that she would have that delivered the following morning.  HA....God is so good !! In the matter of 10 minutes, I went from dispair to glory !! Called my guy and told him to stop pacing (smile) - that we would have the item for tomorrows job !!

Went to Home Depot to pick up a couple more supplies - Home Depot wouldn't accept my check because I had written some BIG checks there earlier this week. So, I ended up putting it on my credit card - which I hate doing. No problem, I would simply transfer money when I got home. (home banking is great!!) Got to my parents home and realized I had screwed up !! I was saving my credit card for airfare for my mom to go to her cousin's funeral. Prayed and went in to tell my mom that I would probably have to go out to the airport with cash - instead of online.  Went online and WWwwWOOooOoHHHhhHhOOoooOo - I was able to make the purchase. Thank you Jesus !! He came through again !! Helped Mom pack and whisked her off to the airport !!

More awesome was that God gave me such an opportunity to minister to Moses (my worker) today. I didn't hesitate and ran with it. He had asked me how I was related to Johnny. When he recognized my relation to Ricahrd (my brother, Johnny's step dad). He commented what a great guy Richard was. And told me how Richard had blessed him the very first time he met him. I was able to explain how the Holy Spirit works for us that believe...by telling some of Richard's and my own Holy Spirit stories. He was a captive audience in the seat next to me in my van ---perfect !! (smile)

God is good....all the time !!

So, how was your day?

Quiet Observations

My mother in law was visiting us for the winter, she stayed one month with us. Other than the 4 days she spent in Fairfield, we were responsible for taking care of her. She is a very negative person, never gives anyone a chance to...anything...very judgemental, and quickly voices her opinion, not matter how it affects people.  Over the years, I have learned to have peace with her. Mostly, by tuning her out, and not ever making comment. Knowing this is her personality and having to believe she doesn't ever mean to hurt anyone, I just cast off 95% of the things she says and move on. We have actually learned to sometimes enjoy each others company. Though those times are short lived, we, for the most part, just go about our business and not spend too much time alone together. It works.

But, I do see that for Jeff's sister, she took much longer to reconcile with mother's personality. Unfortunately, during her younger years when their was so much anger between them, she failed to shield her daughter from the deep anxieties and resentment she so long and desperately held onto. She passed those feelings onto her daughter, who is now 33 years old. Mother's granddaughter doesn't know what to do with these feelings, so she just completely has locked NaNa from her life. Jeff's sister dragged her and her 2 children to our home on the eve of NaNa's departure for a short 2 hour visit. I saw that even the great grandchildren are being swallowed by the tension.

I told Jeff today that I was really saddened by this. That family ties were so emblazed with resentment for each other that it was extremely hard for them to be civil for 2 hours. Further, the great grands made no effort to even attempt civility. I learned slowly that my children deserved to know their NaNa - to share good memories and they could decide for themselves as they grow older. Besides, NaNa is not in good health, she may not be with us for much longer. I want my children to have the best memories - NaNa playing board games with them - laughing at their silly antics - showering them with goodies - but most importantly, her welcome presence in our home.

What better gift could I give my children? Something I sadly observed was missing from Jeff's sister, niece and his great niece & nephew.

Lord, I am continually amazed at your strength and power at seeing me through another visit from Mother. Thank you for giving me selective ears, to hear only those words that were agreeable in manner and to block out words that were not appropriate or unbefitting. Thank you for giving me the grace to pour over her much kindness, understanding and forgiveness, even while my flesh wanted to scream out in retaliation. You, Father, keep me firm and postured when her actions seem to want to see me fall, sway my faith & confidence, or break my peace. You, Lord are my fortress in times of trials and I know that I can come running to you for shelter and you will cover me with such a mighty shield that no one will be able to strike my head or ankle. Thank you Jesus for your love. ~Amen

Lord just grant me peace over dealing with my siblings.

Why is it so hard to deal with siblings when it comes to money or just a simple family gathering? So much joy gets taken out of my fun in organizing our family projects and events. I told everyone at Christmas that 2008 would be my last year as the family "organizer." I don't think anyone took it seriously. Actually, I'm not sure I did at the time. However, this latest incident just reminded me and confirms that I can no longer do this without God's intervention. YIKES...OK...I know...I know...I did make that sound like such a bad thing, didn't I?! I'm so tired of the same person bringing up the thought that he/she contributes so much more than anyone else, and does so without hesitation or conflict. (not so) Tired of others that live such lavious lifestyles, yet only contribute $100 over a 2 year period to a project that will clearly take nearly $1000 from each of us. (and yes, they have been told)

Though the funds have not fully been recieved, I am moving forth with my parents bathroom renovation project. 2 years in the making is long enough to wait for people to contribute. My mother can no longer get in and out of her tub - she needs the tub removed. We start the project next week.

I'm looking outside the box for ways to collect enough money to cover the costs. I've placed this burden at God's feet and I no longer feel such a heavy load. I know He will see this through.

The Lord is my refuge !!

Trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in Him at all times, you people;                                                                                     pour out your hearts before Him. God is a refuge for us. ~~ Psalm 62:8

5 Things you DID'NT know about me:

1. I have NEVER moved out of the 95833 zip code. Hubby thinks this is not something to tell people. But, I really don't think it's that huge of a deal. I love my neighborhood. I feel a sense of comfortability (is this a word?), familiarity and connection. I just fit in !! It is a very diverse community and well, with my family...we NEED that !! HA Hubby has lived all over the world, being an Air Force brat...(he has since dropped the Air Force part) ...he really can not comprehend any of my reasonings. Oh, well.

2. I worked for Bank of America as a Vault Teller. Myself and one other lady, Agatha (Aggie) Garfield were in charge of counting all the money in the vault each and everyday. You know those night drop vaults that businesses use to drop their business bank deposits? We were in charge of opening all the sacks, counting the money and verifying the deposits. Then we added that money to either the main vault or prepared it for any of the 3 Armor Car delivery companies to pick up. We would be locked into a small room, surrounded by bags and bags of money...counting it, stacking it up, banding & sealing it in plastic wrap. It was a rough job !! <smile>

3. In high school my best friend, Debbie, and I started our own (unofficial) club, called the Wino Club. OK...so it was a shameful club. We donned ourselves as 2 drunken misfits, though neither one of us were actually drinkers. Well, except for ONE time !! <ouch> We never did that again !! LOL But, we just didn't fit in with the other groups, so we made our own and it sort of made us the cool group. People were begging to join...HA...but since we were such frauds we were VERY exclusive as to who was allowed to join. We each had ridiculous nicknames of Wino #1, #2, #3...I think we had like 5 members. I was Wino #2. How ridiculous !! Go ahead and laugh !!

4. I am a mother to 5 children. The only child that I learned their sex from an ultrasound was my last child, Matthew. All my others I wanted to be surprised and though had plenty of opportunities, I made sure my doctors and technicians ALL knew not to report any info to me. It was really a lot of fun, playing the guessing game. And it sort of made all the labor pains more endurable to know that I had a SURPRISE waiting for me !!

5. My grandfather was born in 1863 !! YES...my grandfather !! He would have been 146 years old if he were still alive today. My father was his last child, born when he was 60 years old. My father was 12 or 13 years old when his dad passed away. His father had at least 2 different wives - we aren't for sure how many children. We just found out recently that he may have even changed his last name when he was a young teen, after he ran away from home and jumped onto a ship headed for South America. (he was born in Canada) My father's mother was born in Mexico, and my father was born on land that has since been given back to Mexico, so, we tease my dad that he married my mother to become a US citizen.

The "Benny Attitude"

Rainy days remind me of my childhood. Sitting at the front window of our living room. It seemed like such a HUGE window. Looking for my neighborhood friends, hoping to catch a glance of them looking out their windows or per chance their mother gave them the OK to go out and play in the rain. The latter not really being much of a chance, but through a child's wanting heart to go out to play, we can't help to keep hope.

My neighborhood friends were great. The family across the street had 7 or 8 kids, the family just a few homes away had 5 kids. So, when we got together we were set for 2 teams of kickball!! Things were so much different back then. We could explore the neighborhood from morning to after dark without any fear. Playing freeze tag or hide and go seek under the street light until it was way too dark to see. I remember Benny would escape the fun for half an hour each evening to go watch Batman !! He would come running out the house like a capped crusader. We all made fun of him, but he never cared. His heroes were worth the taunting. Benny was OK.

The Benny attitude:

Benny was short and round. He was a little younger than the most of us. It was his grandmother who lived in the neighborhood, he would come after school until his parents picked him up. Grandma "babied" him, and kept a very watchful eye on him. He always came out of the house eating a snack. And he LOVED Batman & Robin. Sometimes, he would come "flying" out of grandma's home wearing the childhood towel around the neck "cape"!! For these reasons, our childish minds thought it befitting to give him a good share of teasing.  But Benny stood (tall) and strong. He seemed to let the teasing roll off his (cape) and ignore us. We liked him.

He taught us that we could stand firm in the midst of adversity. That though we may look differently,  have a few different viewpoints or didn't live together in the same neighborhood, we could still come together for the good.

We use this idea when we do our street and neighborhood ministries. In Feeding the Homeless, many people from across Sacramento, across church beliefs, across ethnicities, across social backgrounds; we come together in unity to serve a great need to the homeless in downtown Sac. I saw a young girl (13 yrs old) a few weeks ago at a VBS training day. I realized she was one of our volunteers at the Feeding the Homeless days. I spoke with her mother, and told her how her daughter was impacting the lives of the people we serve. The mother was moved by my words and said she would visit our next event. Apparently, the daughter comes with another family. We meet some awesome people at these events, both with the volunteers and the homeless that we serve. I feel totally blessed with each event and can not even begin to explain how this has impacted my life.

I still see Benny every now and then. His grandma still lives across the street from my parents. When I do, I always give Benny a smile and a hug. Someday, I should tell him, how his "Benny Attitude" has stuck with me.